m In the beginning.
I started to go to the gay bars when I was 18. I was terrified not knowing what to expect and what people would think of me being straight and the fact that most of the time we were sneaking in the back doors or using fake ids. When i look back to my first time going, its almost a snowball effect on how i became so involved in a lifestyle that wasn't my own. I went with my gay friend Cody who had just recently moved to Des Moines, I wanted him to meet new people and for him to meet more gay men so we went to the Garden night club, from that very first night we both met so many new people and then we met their friends and then they met my friends and it became this whole huge group that now is the main community in Des Moines. I say that i got caught up in a life style that wasn't mine bc I'm not gay I'm straight but i was learning all about being gay and going only to gay bars bc it was the only place we knew how to get into. I had my entire week planned around going to the bar, the gay bars. I had friends from different cities and backgrounds and we would go out and get drunk every night at the Garden, Saddle, and at the time the Frat House. We went to every drag show there was, all the bar competitions, pride events etc.
It all hit me when i started to get my credit card statement's showing the bills i was paying just so i can have more cash to go out with and being so exhausted that i was sleeping on my lunches at work and taking naps after work before going out. My apartment was becoming a halfway house for friends who didn't have a place to stay and i was just starting to feel used. I relized that my life and current relationships revolve around a substance and I had to start rethinking my life and who was a real friend and who was just another member of the crowd. I found myself leaning many life lessons and weeding through who was really there for me as a person or for drugs and alcohol. I had to lose a lot of friends and it was hard at first but i also made room more great people and for the last 3 years i have been with the best group of friends learning new things, going on trips, and experieancing life together and as we Spend every day with each other our friendships grew into something more......we became this huge protective family and I wouldn't take back a day of it.
Now when I go to the gay bars, I dont refer to them as "gay bars" and I go for myself and my friends, its more then going out to get drunk and having a good time its about being together and making more memories, meeting the latest boyfriend/girlfriend, celebrating success, or being there to take away the sorrow and just hanging out and doing what we do best just being ourselves and enjoying each other and then of coarse the whole getting drunk and having a good time. I know all my friends family, where they live, work, and we don't just hang out at the bar we can have a great time just watching movies together at home or going out for dinner. It amazes me to think about the past five years from how life is today and how it was when i first met my best friends. Everyone has a spot in my heart that goes so deep and I love each and everyone of my friends for there own individual personality's. What used to be friends at a bar have become my family and the foundation that i stand on.
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